Let’s Talk About Sex
What they didn’t teach you in health class
By Riley Clark | Photos by Pearl Spurlock | Design by Julia Parente
In the age of sexting and sneaky links, it is easy to forget where our understanding of sex actually began: sex ed. For me, it was a surreal time. My class was split by gender. The girls and I were taken to a separate room, where we sat in front of the box TV that played MarshMedia’s sex ed DVD series. My education was overpowered by a catchy theme song that chanted “just around the corner” and a fear that my crush would not like me because of my prepubescent flat chest.
We went through the course as 9, 10 and 11-year-olds, unable to keep a straight face whenever the words “sex” or “intercourse” were mentioned. We graduated from learning about our own bodies to those of our counterparts and the intersection between them. After retaining slim to nothing, we reconvened with smirks on our faces, exchanging awkward giggles with our classmates.
How were we supposed to understand the wealth of this knowledge when all we could focus on was the red flush of our cheeks? Through the lens of a silly 10-year-old who could not help but laugh at diagrams of private parts, my key takeaway was abstinence was apparently the only answer, according to the middle school–aged girls paid to say so in Just Around the Corner.
Only 30 states require sexual education. In Ohio, the curriculum “is not required to be comprehensive” and has “no standard regarding medically accurate sex education,” according to Sex Ed for Social Change. As for the 20 other states that do not explicitly require sex ed, school districts are left to decide the content – if any – of what they teach their students.
“In our culture, as much as we have sexual content in the media, it is not something we’re necessarily very comfortable talking about in an open, productive way,” Jane Broecker says, a doctor of obstetrics and gynecology and an associate professor in the Heritage College of Osteopathic Medicine.
The Office of Health Promotion saw a need for a judgment-free space for students to discuss sexual health. Bobcat Peer Educators, trained through the National Association of Student Personnel Administrators’ Certified Peer Educator program, are equipped to lead these conversations and promote healthy decision-making.
We have made it out of the mud of puberty, and many of us are exploring and experimenting with our sexuality. With more regulated and thorough teaching of the ins and outs of our bodies, adults could be better equipped to engage in safer, more fulfilling sex.
How many women actually orgasm during sex?
Just because DJ Khaled does not go down on his wife does not mean that should be the standard for everyone. The idea that all women orgasm during vaginal sex alone is a myth. According to gynecologists at the Mayo Clinic, “fewer than 1 in 5 women say they can climax from vaginal intercourse alone — everyone else wants or needs some sort of stimulation on their clitoris.” As adults, most people know about the clitoris, but the common knowledge of where it resides is debatable.
“Sometimes women in particular feel that sex is about pleasing their male partner in heterosexual relationships,” Broecker says. “I think that we could do a little bit better with helping girls own their sexuality.”
The orgasm gap can only close if sexual partners shift to a more teamwork oriented mindset, ensuring that everyone has the chance to experience the big O.
Pull out game strong?
If a man suggests using the “pull out” method in place of birth control, do not listen.
Broecker emphasizes the importance of people taking ownership of their reproductive destiny when deciding to have sex. Especially now, with the overturning of Roe v. Wade, it is crucial for people engaging in sex – whether safe or not –- understand the risks involved, without shame.
“Health education can probably be helpful in those situations, so that people know that they have a right from a young age,” Broecker says. “That they have the opportunity to control when and how they have children.”
The pull-out method is not foolproof. Start by having a conversation with your sexual partner. It is important to understand that there is a middle ground between abstinence and pregnancy.
STI reality check
Something sex ed may have gotten right is the commonality of an STI. In a reproductive physiology class at Washington and Lee University, researchers discovered that one in four college students have had a sexually transmitted infection, with 80 percent going undetected due to having no symptoms.
The best answer to avoiding STIs during sex is to wrap it up. Nyla Gilbert, a second-year journalism student and a Bobcat Peer Educator, always encourages anyone looking for condoms, dental dams and other sexual health resources to visit the Office of Health Promotion, where they are available for free.
“We [the Office of Health Promotion] have [a] bowl of condoms. We call it the fishbowl.” If it is too late for preventative action, do not be ashamed.
Although the stigma around STIs can make it hard for people to seek help, it is important to remember, as Broecker points out, “to pick up an STI is embarrassing for most people, even though it is simply an infection, just like a cold is.”
Outside of the Office of Health Promotion, there are a plethora of reproductive health services just around the corner, including OhioHealth Campus Care, Hopewell Health and Planned Parenthood.
Salt-N-Pepa had it right when they said, “let’s talk about sex.” By dismantling the stigmas and unlearning the myths we have been taught, we can pave the way for healthier, safer and more informed sexual experiences.
Resources
On campus: The Office of Health Promotion, located on the third floor of Baker Center room 339, allows students to access condoms and dental dams for free. Walk to the desk outside of the office to request sexual health resources or schedule a meeting with a Bobcat Peer Educator.
Online: Order a condom or dental dam package through ohiv.org/free-condoms, which allows people to place an order once every 30 days.
To schedule an appointment with a contraception counselor, who can discuss safe contraception options and insurance coverage, visit OhioHealth Campus Care at 2 Health Center Drive. Students can bring their student I.D. and either meet with a counselor or schedule an appointment in advance by calling (740) 592-7100. b
